Welcome to a forgotten corner of the ancient forest.
We have a serious problem in our society. How does a boy know when he has become a man. It may seem a rather unimportant issue on the surface but it underlies a number of problems that we have in our society today that rise from young men engaging reckless, dangerous or illegal activities to "prove themselves".
In primitive cultures initiation rites were a distinct turning point in a boys life during which he took the transition from boyhood to manhood. We have some lesser versions of this in our society, for example turning 18, but young men are looking for more definitive proof that they are now men. Unless we give them something then they will continue to create "tests" for themselves.
If you are a father of a adolescent boy, it might be time to consider some symbolic gesture to mark his transition into manhood. When my son turned 16 I told him that, since he was born, I had been planning a grand adventure for the two of us when he grew up. Later that year we headed off trecking in the Himalayas together. I was telling him that he was now grown up and we could do adventurous things together.
There are many jewels hidden amongst the leaves in this forgotten part of the ancient forest. Spend some time browsing and you are sure to find some. Click here or continue your search below
or read the most recent entries here.My eldest son & I do adventurous things together each time he gets behind the wheel of my car.
Posted by: Niall at June 9, 2003 10:26 AMyeah, I know the feeling.
Posted by: chris at June 9, 2003 10:35 AMPart of a book called the Godless Gospel (author?) talks about the idea of creating meaningful rituals which are not necessarily associated with religion. The point in part being that when society moves away from traditional religion, it loses the value of all of the rites of passage type rituals and other activities which have traditionally been the domain of religion.
His solution was to have a kind of secular Bar Mitzvah for young men as they become adults.
Posted by: dan at June 10, 2003 01:00 AMI need help creating a secular ritual for my grandson turning 13 in October. The book Goddless Gospel sounds like a good resource. How can I find out more about it?
Posted by: Pat Wynne at August 28, 2003 01:25 PMMy grandson is turning 13 in October. I need help creating a secular ritual for him. The book The Godless Gospel sounds like a good resource. How can I find out more about it?
Posted by: Pat Wynne at August 28, 2003 01:27 PMI haven't read The Godless Gospel myself but I respect Dan's opinion so it may be worth a look. Steve Biddulp has two excellent books, "Manhood" and "Bringup Up Boys" which are worth reading both for your own sake and your sons/grandsons.
The important thing is that it is significant to you and your grandson. Personally I like the idea that the event collects the significant adult males in your grandsons life together to experience something unusual and memorable. You should explain to your grandson that this event is specifically to accept him into the adult male community.
If you approach it with thought and love whatever you choose will work well.
Posted by: chris at August 29, 2003 08:25 AMAs a young man i would have to say a serveral day bushwalk in a trackless remote area without any perants (not solo but with a freind or two)
Walking off into the unknown not knowing what to expect just about prepares you for anything
I remember starting at one end coming to where the trail ended and one had to make his own path
Those first few hours shock the system into realizing out in the world one has to be self-suffient
Stumble It!