In primitive and agrarian societies men did work that a boy could understand. From a relatively early age boys accompany men and assist them with tasks concerned with the wellbeing of the tribe/extended family. During these periods boys get an opportunity to learn through observation and imitation what it is to be a man, how to behave, how to interact with other men. If your son sees you only for a brief period each night when you are tired from a stressful day where is your son learning how to be a man. The simple answer is the television and from older boys who learnt it themselves from other boys in an extended game of "chinese whispers"

Let your child choose what they usually watch on TV and take some time to cast a critical eye over the father images that are portrayed on these shows. Is the kind of father that is portrayed the kind of father you want your son to become or your daughter's husband to be.

The simple fact is that you are probably not spending enough time being a father to your children and why? So that they can have a bigger TV set through which to absorb all the wrong types of images of what it means the be a mature man and a father.

You have a role to play in the upbringing of both your sons and your daughters and it is not that of surrogate mother when your wife is not around. For all your children, you are, or should be, a protector both from the real world and the virtual world. As much as they complain about not being allowed to watch some things, or go some places, if they understand it is being done because you care for their wellbeing it will reaffirm in their minds your love and commitment to them.

Protecting your son means more than protecting him from physical harm. At three/four/five your son is probably talkative, happy, excited, loving, caring. He is destined to get most of that knocked out of him unless you do something about it. Sadly, female teachers can be the worst offenders, they bring their own agendas into the classroom. You need to be alert to this and take affirmative action to protect your son. He has the right to be himself.

Being a father also means participating in your childrens lives at a meaningful level and that is not taking them to team sports and watching from the sides. It is finding things to do together where they can talk to you and learn from you.

When someone says "Tell me about yourself" perhaps, instead of saying "I am an accountant" you can say "I am a father" and mean it.