Well that is the reaction of many Australian men to the mere suggestion that they attend group therapy. The men of America, it appears, have a remarkably similar regard for Group Therapy. Not only that, it just doesn't work for many men.

Dr. Anthony Joyce, a psychologist in the University of Alberta Department of Psychiatry has been looking at the role of gender in the efficacy of short term group therapy to treat complicated grief, where a person is unable to come to terms with the loss of a significant other and, in addition, are experiencing problems in work or social functioning. He finds that, generally speaking, men hate short term group therapy and they do not benefit from the supportive environment that it provides.

It seems obvious to The Green Man that men handle grief in a significantly different way to women and the assumption that they will benefit from sharing their experiences with other persons going through a similar process will be of benefit is just that, an assumption. For many men, the appropriate course of action is to "continue as normal" whilst they take time to assimilate what has happened to them. Placing a man who has been taught that he must be "the strong one" in a situation where people are sharing their grief may make him feel that he has to absorb their grief as well as his own.

The study shows that a "one size fits all" approach to helping people cope with grief is simply not appropriate. Many men have needs that are simply not catered for when adopting a female centric approach.

Those of the readership of The Green Man who are deeply religious, which a number are, can draw some comfort from the fact that this is less likely to be a problem for you than for most. Holly Prigerson and Michelle J. Pearce of Yale University have been researching the physical and psychological impacts of grief on wellbeing and have found that elderly people whose religious beliefs help them cope with the loss of a loved one seem to stay healthier than those who don't look to spiritual forces for support. They say

Despite the expectation that health would decline given the documented health risks associated with bereavement, bereaved individuals who relied more heavily on religion to cope with their loss did not experience a significant increase in health problems

For any of the readership who are not too ashamed to own up to being accountants that translates to $180 million savings in supportive health care services.

It is interesting to speculate why this might be so.

- belief in afterlife, i.e. the person is not really dead
- deterministic attitude, i.e. it was God's will
- better support network amongst the congregation than non-church goers
- access to pastoral care

all spring to mind as being contributing factors.

Finally, the Birtish Medical Journal reports that relatives of cancer patients who have been euthenased experience less grief than those of patients who have died naturally. The article suggests

Possible explanations for less grief symptoms among the family and friends of patients who died by euthanasia include the opportunity to say goodbye, being more prepared for the way and day of the imminent death, and being able to talk openly about death

It seems to The Green Man that a couple of these explanations can also be applied to natural deaths, if we have the care and enthusiasm to do so.

Read more on Dr. Anthony's work on Group Therapy here.
Read more on the role of religion here.
Read more of the BMJ findings here.